Cultivating Emotional Intelligence for Greater Mental Health

You’ve probably heard of IQ, which measures intellectual prowess. But have you heard of EQ, or emotional intelligence? Experts say EQ is even more important than IQ, especially in the arenas of relationships and mental health. When you have high EQ, you have stronger bonds, higher self-esteem, and more mental resilience.

Luckily, EQ is a skill you can practice and hone over time. Here’s why EQ is so important for your mental health, and how you can cultivate it.

What is emotional intelligence (EQ)?

Just like your IQ measures your intellectual ability to use logic and solve problems, your EQ (emotional quotient), or emotional intelligence, measures your ability to understand and manage emotions. Your EQ is related to almost every aspect of your life, including how you perform at work, how you relate to other people, and how you feel about yourself. Many people say EQ is far more important than IQ for having a successful life.

The concept of EQ was originally developed by psychologists Peter Salovey and John D. Mayer in 1990, who defined it as “the ability to monitor one’s own and others’ feelings and emotions, to discriminate among them and use this information to guide one’s thinking and actions.^[1]”

Experts have identified five key areas of EQ, which are^[2]:

1 – Self-awareness: People with high EQ have a deeper awareness of their own internal experiences and emotions. They’re able to notice emotional reactions as they’re happening and identify what’s causing them to feel the way they do.

2 – Self-regulation: The next step to self-awareness is self-regulation, or the ability to manage your own emotions. People with high EQ are not only able to identify their emotions, but they’re able to express them in healthy ways. This makes them less likely to have angry outbursts or emotional meltdowns. They’re able to self-soothe and find ways to calm themselves down.

3 – Internal motivation: Internal motivation, or self-motivation, allows people with high EQ to be able to manage their lives effectively. No one needs to tell them what they should do; they’ve already identified their goals and they know what steps they need to take to achieve them.

4 – Empathy: People with high EQ aren’t only aware of their own emotions; they also have awareness of what other people’s emotions might be. Empathy is about being able to take another person’s perspective, even when it’s very different from your own. Empathy allows people with high EQ to develop deeper connections with other people.

5 – Social skills: Lastly, people with high EQ have great social skills, which is related to empathy. In large part because of their high level of empathy, people with high EQ are able to resolve conflicts, communicate effectively, and maintain helpful and genuine conversations with people.

These five key areas make people with high EQ great friends, partners, and colleagues.

Benefits of high EQ for mental health and relationships

Overall, people with higher EQ tend to have better relationships and mental health. They’re able to develop and maintain more meaningful connections in their lives. Because of their ability to identify and regulate their emotions, they typically have a higher sense of self.

Some of the benefits of having EQ include:

Stronger communication skills

People with higher EQ tend to be better active listeners. They have genuine interest in the other person’s experiences. And because they’re so deeply self-aware of their own emotions and meanings, they’re able to express themselves more clearly without misunderstandings. People with high EQ rarely engage in passive aggression; they tend to communicate directly and sincerely, without any pretenses.

Deeper relationships

People with higher EQ also have stronger bonds with other people. This is because they have strong empathy and social skills, which makes it easier for them to relate to others. But it also has to do with the way they’re able to regulate their emotions. People with high EQ don’t allow painful emotions to get in the way of their relationships. If they feel hurt, they communicate directly rather than allowing it to fester and ruin their bonds.

More career success

Most experts agree that EQ is an essential quality of strong leaders. EQ allows workplace leaders to inspire and motivate their teams because they are able to have empathy for their employees’ experiences and set clear goals for everyone around them. Even when not in leadership roles, people with high EQ tend to be successful at work because of their ability to build strong relationships.

Improved self-esteem

EQ helps people have stronger self-esteem. Self-esteem is about how you perceive yourself and your worth. When you have high EQ, you have deep self-awareness – including both your strengths and weaknesses. High EQ typically allows people to have a strong sense of who they are and understand they have inherent worth just like every other person. On the other hand, people with lower EQ and self-awareness may not know themselves well enough to have self-esteem on which to build.

Improved emotional resilience

Resilience is your ability to bounce back from hardships in life. Nobody’s life is perfect, and challenges are to be expected. Although we may not be able to prevent challenges from occurring, we can work on becoming more resilient so hard times don’t keep us down.

People with high EQ are more resilient for several reasons. First, they may have a stronger social support network, which is one of the things associated with higher emotional resilience. In addition, they tend to have higher self-esteem and better emotion regulation skills, both qualities that can be helpful when you’re faced with challenging times.

Reduced risk for mental health disorders

Research shows people with high EQ tend to have a lower risk of developing mental health disorders, including depression and anxiety^[3]. This may be because people with EQ are better able to regulate emotions, and unregulated emotions can often develop into more serious mental health symptoms. Additionally, as we’ve noted earlier, people with EQ tend to have stronger social support networks, which makes you more resilient to mental health problems.

How to cultivate EQ for better mental health

Fortunately, EQ isn’t something you’re either born with or not. Just like any skill, it can be practiced and strengthened over time. Just like you would play brain games to improve your IQ, there are many strategies you can use to strengthen your EQ and become a more self-aware, motivated, and empathetic person.

Here are some strategies that can help you develop each area of EQ.

Self-awareness

To deepen your self-awareness, consider engaging in activities like journaling. Journaling provides opportunities for you to reflect on your emotional experiences. When you journal, don’t simply write about what happened during your day. Instead, dig deeper to think about how these experiences affected you. Working with a therapist can also help you develop deeper self-awareness and strengthen your self-esteem.

Self-regulation

Self-regulation can be a challenge, especially if you already live with a mental health disorder. Consider starting by developing healthy coping strategies. Think about what helps you soothe yourself when you’re experiencing painful emotions. What works for one person may not work for another, so find the coping techniques that work for you. Again, a therapist can help you with self-regulation by teaching you new coping skills and providing you with opportunities to practice them.

Self-motivation

Write down a list of your values and how you can live your life to be more aligned with them. When you’ve identified your values, it may become easier to find intrinsic motivation to complete your daily tasks. What are your big-picture goals, and how can your current tasks help you get closer to achieving them?

Empathy

Empathy comes naturally for some people, but you can intentionally cultivate it as well. Be mindful about fostering curiosity about other people, even strangers. Ask them open-ended questions about their experiences, and listen to their answers without judgment. If you’re struggling to develop empathy for others, a therapist can help. Many mental health conditions, including depression, can inhibit empathy.

Social skills

To strengthen your social skills, it may be helpful to learn about assertive communication. Assertive communication is about expressing your needs and feelings without putting others down or being aggressive. In addition, learn active listening techniques. Pay attention to nonverbal cues during conversations, both your own and the other person’s.

Holistic mental health treatment in Washington state

The Center • A Place of HOPE offers holistic mental health treatment in the beautiful Puget Sound. Whatever you’re going through, our specialized treatment programs can help you heal in every area – physically, mentally, relationally, and spiritually.

Our therapists can help you strengthen your EQ and your resilience, ensuring you’re able to develop deeper relationships, build up your self-esteem, and bounce back from challenges.

Get in touch with us for more information about our programs or to request treatment.

1 – https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.2190/DUGG-P24E-52WK-6CDG
2 – https://feea.org/2021/08/emotional-intelligence-101/
3 – https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC10641773/